What’s Your Pee Tolerance?
Unfortunately
there’s one more self-praise heading your way. It’s something to do with my
kidneys so I hope you don’t fall asleep while you go through it.
When
I was much younger, I had these strange self-invented superstitions that if I
peed twice before taking a long bus trip, I would end up at the other place
with my ass completely in one piece. I also thought that if I visited the
restroom and went about my shorter business at least three times in the last
hour before my exams, I would ace it, which I did.
*hears
louder cough*
It
is likely that you might think I am some kind of pee-ing guru who finally found
the secret link between the act of peeing and external worldly success, which
for some extend is true (proven through extensive, time consuming practical
research), but the sad reality is that the experiment needs to be done with a
wider diverse population sample for further analysis. The fact that I have
already given up on those superstitions (except for the stupid cat road
crossing superstition which happens to work every f&*^ing time) says a lot
of the credibility of such actions.
Recently,
I was on the same dusty road for hours with a huge gang of senior year civil engineering
students making my way towards an ongoing engineering project near the mountain
side. We had just passed a small village which lied somewhere after a place
called Dolakha when my kidneys started to act real funny.
3
hours prior to pit stop:
Kidney
is starting to show signs of emergency sewage collection. Alarm rings on the
lower abdomen. Pressure from the hind part due to sitting poster is not helping
to subdue impending stress.
2
hours prior to pit stop:
1
hour before pit stop:
Captain
Kidney has given up. However, the last line of defense- the muscles- are working
hard to contain the impending flood. The
slight movement in posture and some extreme meditational concentration
techniques is helping mind take control over the body. The situation is much
similar to battles in Mahabharata where the enemy side sends an arrow which
magically transforms into some kind of cruise missile while the friendly side
also fires some low tech stuff only to be transformed into a bazooka missile
and somehow their trajectory coincide and explode in midair. (Talk about skill.
They should have had Olympics at that time. Finally some consistent gold for
Indians, maybe Nepalese) Imagine the enemy being the body fluids and the
friendly side being the mind. A crystal
clear picture of the situation. Add to the fact that the trajectory has now
changed and the cruise missile explodes dangerously close to the friendly side.
1
min before pit stop:
Muscles
have already flagged “defeat” and pressed the “if you don’t open your zipper
now, you are sooo going to wet your new pants” button. The mind however is in
Buddha state and is allowing additional minutes to conjure much needed energy
to contain flood and avoid damage.
1
minute 34 seconds after pit stop:
The
flood gates have opened in a nearby river. The process takes forever.
Needless
to say, I have now developed a superior no-pee-pee tolerance moving into 2013.Have
yourselves a jolly good new year!
The paradiddle is a 4 note sticking pattern consisting
ReplyDeleteof 2 alternating notes followed by a diddle. The basic
pattern is RLRR LRLL, where the pattern itself always
alternates; i.e. the first paradiddle starts with one
hand, the second starts with the other, etc.
paradiddles
paradiddle book
paradiddle exercises