Madeinepal's Biased WC Quarterfinals Preview

I am waiting..

The who’s playing who of the quarterfinal of this world cup has been finally placed on a silver platter and this blogger here is finally turning up the heat on what is possibly the world’s greatest event of people gluing themselves to their television screens and going absolutely crazy over people passing a ball around for 90 plus minutes. It is, if you step out of the box and think a little, bollocks of time wasting but that’s what entertainment is all about isn’t it? Let others do the work while you shut your brains off for eminent time travel.

That is, frankly, what I will be doing for the next two weeks as well. I have conspicuously been skipping on most of the matches although media coverage and the accessibility to longer, lengthier replays has had me covered. Not anymore though. I will be finally leaving the comforts of my bed and getting out there with fellow nocturnal Seoulites.

For this alone, I have here produced a biased, unfair and totally unwarranted approach to previewing the upcoming games. 

First stop:

Brazil vs Columbia:

This is perhaps, one of the youngest teams Scolari has ever had to deal with most of the players debuting in the big stage. Yet, with likes of Neymar and Oscar leading the front line, you cannot deny that they don’t have the quality. They have a plenty, however, most of them are guilty of overplaying a bit. This was apparent in their game against Chile where they struggled to put the game in designated time. If it wasn’t for not-so Luiz’s goal, the samba boys would have have to endure the wrath of the home crowd.

Colombia on the other hand look rejuvenated with James Rodrigez pulling the strings. He’s been the unlikely star of the tournament so far and rightly so; he’s already put five goals to his name. With his apparent form, I will have my money on him to score the first goal in the game.

Verdict: My animosity towards brazil has died down, but I still don’t want them to progress any further. The prospect of Germany playing them brings out bad memories of obese Ronaldo doing what he used to do and I honestly don’t want that. And with the backing of home crowd, you just never know.

So vouching for Colombia to win 5-0 with Rodrigez adding an extra two goals to his name and Luiz scoring at the wrong end.

Germany vs France:

I can’t remember the two neighbors going head to head and have yet to see a full game of Patrice Evra kick himself on the balls but I fear the boys who like to dry their boxers on the 29^th floor of the Eiffel tower will be seriously up for it.

This being said, it’s blindingly obvious to everyone that Germany will win the world cup this time which could only mean that the French will have to go back to their selfie taking ways alongside Mona Lisa in the Louvre while Lahm lifts the trophy.

Verdict: A hat-trick suicide from Patrice Evra coupled with Klose’s half way line stunner to make it 4-0 comprehensive win for the Germans. 

You are welcome.

Netherlands vs Costa Rica:

Captained by a player who Arsenal fans can't stand, Netherlands seems to be the side that are clearly thinking of taking a step further from their previous attempt at the cup. However, they are up against the not-so-thought-before but everyone-thinks-now-they-are dark, dark horse of the tournament, the Costa Ricans. A tournament where the underdogs are barking on the microphone, Campbell’s team could pose significant problems to van Gaal.

Verdict: Robben gets a straight red after attempting to dive rape the referee, van Persie gets hit on the head by a falling asteroid and Campbell scores a 95^th minute goal to secure the passage to the semis. 1-0 to the Costa Ricans.

Argentina vs Belgium:

Everyone seems to have concluded that an Argentinian team without Messi is like a chicken curry without the curry powder (and salt), but with the likes of Di Maria, Aguero and Higuain, they have world class strike force that teams like Arsenal can only dream about. However, the original dark horse of the tournaments who later amazingly transformed themselves into a boring, slightly patchy pony will have plenty of tricks up their sleeves to deny them from going any further.

Verdict: Eden Hazard and Messi collide onto each other and explode causing a mass exodus from the stadium. The game is later decided on Rock, Scissors and Paper and Belgium go through.