Thoughts: Dashain Blues and Wishes
Eight years. That's how long it's been the last time I got to celebrate Dashain, the biggest festival for Hindu Nepalese (which basically is everyone), eat slow cooked tender goat meat and play cards over warm sun and very bad beer. The funny thing is, I strangely don't miss it. I don't. I don't miss wearing new clothes, going to relatives, getting their blessings and doing all that. I am numb to those feelings and I also don't feel so good admitting it.
Maybe that's also because I am such a horrible Hindu. I have no interest in the religion - the stories are great though - nor do I pretend that I don't eat beef (which basically is eating your god). My love for good steaks are real. I cook them at home. In fact, I made myself a very nice beef keema curry the other day. That also means I am probably taking the ride to hell the moment I say goodbye. If there is an afterlife. that is.
I don't think I blame the profession that I have taken to display such apathy that even I feel embarrassed -tiny that it is- to say that. It's primarily because of the approach I have taken in recent years, to emotionally not invest so much on anything emotional; whether that's a relationship, friendship or even results. Being detached at an emotional level also makes it less painful but also less fun. You sort of cushion and dampen all those highs and lows in life. I guess that's what Buddhism tries to impart. To make your soul (thoughts, mind) and body (worldly goods) apart.
But probably I am missing the point here. A lot of people make everything about themselves. It's not. Graduation is not about you. It's about how proud you make your family when you get on that podium. Like wise, festivals are not about you. Whether you choose to believe the ideals or not, you celebrate it because the person next to you wants to celebrate it. Wants you to be part of it. Wants you to talk and drink and you know, play cards and lose money and still take it easy.
So pushing all my selfish thoughts aside, pushing all that I believe and don't believe (because it does not matter what I think), I would like to wish all Neplease and Bhutanese and Americans and Armenians and all people who celebrate this huge ten day festival, a very happy, happy Dashain.