Logic behind Gangnam Style is no logic at all

The awkward moment when you have to defend yourself in public when someone wrongly accuses you of letting loose when you are a 1000 percent sure that you are not the culprit. How about smelling your own ass for a change?
I received an email some time ago from my sister, oops cousin, asking me something that was totally not expected.
"Abhu, what happens when you fart in zero gravity?"  
"zero gravity ma padhyo bhane ke huncha abhu?"
This is the kind of questions that gets you castigated by your high school physics teacher but one that makes a very creative question indeed. I know my sis is overly creative with what she does, already making a name for herself, but this just raised the creative bar higher.

Lets try answering this question.

If you have ever watched astronauts fall into deep space than you will know that once a body gains certain momentum in space (zero gravity), the body tends to move in that direction with the same momentum until an external force acts upon it (idealized). Once the gas, mostly consisting of methane, blows out from...let's say a future astronaut's ass during training because he had too much of bacon to eat in the morning, the gas moves into the direction at which his assh*** is directed to. We are quite aware that the gas is actually lighter than air and considering the fact that it tends to spread throughout the container that it is in, we can safely assume that the gas tends to cover all of the ceiling of the zero gravity container. It would be better if the astronaut's ass was covered with green powder so that we could actually tangibly observe the whole process.

If you accuse me of being so open about the verb fart, then I have a very good quote back from memory lane to share with you. When we were grade 7, we caught one of the "prettier" girls in class let out a loud one. Her defensive answer was an instant hit.

"It's natural!" 
*hands up and open as if to say whatever*
Of course its natural honey.

Creativity does come in all shapes and wierd sizes.

My blurred vision these days has been a major cause for concern as I frequently have to narrow down my eyes just to see how my Prof looks each day. Take out my glasses and I have to start using brail. I am aware that high BP's lead to blurred vision and that I have to exercise and all..but i am doing that you know. 4 pushups a day with a couple of weight lifting and jugging to 301. Now dont laugh, because from last week, my cardio workout percentage improved by a 100 percent.

As I got desperate, I got this one in a million idea to go check out Ramdev Baba's eye yoga stuffs in youtube. I remember my mom, aunt, distant aunt, aunts friends, aunts friend's friends, mom's friends, neighbors, neighbors annoying cat, cat's tiny little craps all chatter about how Ramdev Baba has helped them to recover from some pain or the other. So I thought why not? wont hurt to give it a go. I have no problem of excessively active hair growth hormones.

I know, I got more than desperate here.

So I open this youtube page with Baba Ramdev sitting elegently doing his shit talking. He had some pretty interesting ideas to share. The first one required you to put water in your mouth...nonono no drinking!..and then splash chilled water over your eyes. Once you think its enough, throw the water in out instead of putting it through your digestive tube. I did that today, felt amazing. you gotta try this one. Remember! throw the damn water away.

Second one, I can't really remember, there was some yog. The third one required you to take a cold shower. With korean winter on the horizon, you can only dream.
The fourth solution though was something rather unexpected but expected at the same time. You simply HAVE to bow down to his marketing strategy. Baba goes like..
"Hey, it would'nt be bad if you try out our companies Amala Churn (A kind of fruit powder), its excellent for your eyes if you drink it with cold water in the morning or in the afternoon." or something like that.

talk about creative brainwashing and  marketing. my mouse pointer was directed straight at the red cross button on the top right.

I wish i could have done the same when I first watched PSY's Gangnam Style (강남 스타일) video. I was in the dark about the viral K-pop until one of my very own Profs showed it in the class. This was it. Profs watching K-pop? Besides watching plastic coated girls dancing slow-mo bollywood moves, there was not much to discuss before.

But Khanganm style was different. I have to admit..the horse move? great cardio excercise in the morning. Try doing it uphill, your legs die out. it's fairly simple to do too. Like drum paradiddles, the basics goes as RLRR LRLL with your legs and hands crossed. How easy is that huh?
This is where I hit the wall. The way to categorize K-Pop is a fairly simple task. If the lyrics makes no sense, no sense at all, i am taking about the most modicum of senses THEN its K-Pop. If they come with some english thrown here and there, then it's far worse. 

When we had new applicants applying for our magazine , there were atleast two applicants writing about what Gangnam/Khangnam style meant. I thought maybe its just limited to these applicants, maybe its just they who lost their minds. No. The mind losing thing is pendemic.globaldemic or something like that.

Let's see it this way. If a song comes out first and makes the video popular then it has something to do with the lyrics and meaning and all the bits and pieces that comes with it. However, if its the other way round, there not much sense about talking depth and feelings and again, meaning.

I can only imagine what these reviewers would actually do to themselves when they give Pink Floyd a go. Add vodka to them and you will have another version of gloomy sunday suicides.

So basically, Khangnam Style is 100 percent Entertainment, 100 percent Style but 0 percent Substance. I am aware that Koreans in general are proud about how big the track has come to be but trying to put logic in an empty song makes that logic illogical.

If I happen to offend anyone though, send me an email and I will send you a superbly "bau" cooked nicely packed Nepali chicken curry with ghee. I hope you dont live too far away from seoul though. Stale chicken sucks ass.


  1. you werent kidding about the four push ups haha Why dont you write like this in Quill? Lol but I have to disagree that gangnam style has zero substance. I admit that its popularity is because of the video going viral but the song itself is a great critique of contemporary korean culture. Everyone aspires for the glam and beauty of k pop stars but in reality, they're just people posing as something that they aren't. Like in the music video, psy looks ridiculous trying to be all gangnam style when in fact he's just a fat guy doing the horse dance. Lulz idk maybe it is another dumb kpop song but the horse dance is still pretty fucking awesome.

    1. Lol yeah its improving..i plan on doing 5 tomorrow.
      I see where you are going with this. I have to admit i might have crossed the line when i wrote substance was zero.
      Haha the horse move is addictive

    2. Yes,I agree what said about the substance being "critique of contemporary korean culture". Unfortunately, most of the audience (excluding Koreans) aren't even aware of that (or like it because of that reason).


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