Dont Ask, Dont Tell: Gay Korea

This will probably be my last post before the end of the semester and one that will talk about one hell of a taboo subject. The last month of the semester is always crazy, so if I want to improve on what has a been a slightly improved GPA (freshman year still haunts me), I will have to shut off all the shit I am involved in. That means blogging too. I will have one post right after china (I still have visa problems) so that should be about a month without writing. I think I will go completely insane by then. Hope the smell of momo will wake me up.

Korea isn’t as straight as one might perceive it to be. One of our junior writers is working on the topic of homosexuality and so in the process of getting her some sources to work with, I found out that there are a good number of gay students in our campus. Not that it means anything. That was expected, but the fact that the topic remains “a topic that should not be talked about” gives it that extra kick.  Of course, Nepal isn’t tolerant in this matter as well. But here, it’s more sshhhh!!ed word. It will require time for us to understand and accept for who they are and what they represent in the society. They are, after all, properly and highly functioning individuals.

I think it was in my sophomore year that I came across this exchange student who was fun to talk to. I had a good time annoying him and so forth, we forged a good relationship. I could see he was really a people person, going out there and talking and stuff and so I kind of appreciated that. Sometimes people here can get too shut down and immobile and here he was trying wash off that super glue off their asses.

So this one day, I think it was around the time he was about to leave, I was in his room trying to spill coffee over his brand new Macbook air.

“You didn’t notice?” 

“notice what?”
“seriously? 

You didn’t?”
“what?”
“I am gay”
“ok.”
“so its fine?”
“mann, the coffee has no effect on your laptop”

To be honest, it felt completely normal. Nothing changed after that either. He left and we still keep in touch. It could have come as shock. Mark my words, it could have. But it didn’t. Maybe it was because I had experienced it back in Nepal beforehand. Maybe not but I didn’t really care.

I am aware that it is still a very sensitive topic to talk about and many students here would not want to discuss or hear about it either but the reality is that there are people out there who are gay and it is who they are. Accepting or rejecting them is up to a person, however, denying that they exist is fundamentally flawed.

Here’s a short selected portion of an interview I conducted today with a gay guy in our college. I have to say, he was absolutely comfortable with himself and he did himself a world of favors by opening up properly. So without much delay, here’s what he had to say: (that rhymed!)

Interview with Mr.X:

Interviewers take on Mr. X: Calm, composed, open and very comfortable with who he was.

Regarding his “coming out”:

I needed to drink a bit to actually admit to one of my closet friends that I was gay *laughs*. Surprisingly, he was completely fine with it. He accepted me for who I was and it gave me courage to open up to few more of my friends. That being said, I have not yet opened up to majority of my friends. I have to suppress a part of me when I hang around them.

Regarding his future:

I want to have a normal life. By normal I mean getting married, having a family and all those kinds of stuff. I do see a future in Korea, and although it will be challenging, I wish to live here. However, if things do get tricky, I will possibly reside abroad where gay community is more open.

Regarding his personal life now:

I feel very comfortable now. Although I had already accepted myself as who I was a long time ago, my boyfriend has been able to help me out understand homosexuality a lot better. It is great to have people around you whom you can share your problems, get advice and most importantly, be who I am. 

Here’s a link to a popular gay blog based in seoul. The blogger is Mr. X’s boyfriend.
Here’s a link to of a famous gay director in Korea kissing his fiancé which is quite rare. Celebs don’t come out but things are changing.