How Ganesha Became Ganesha Part I

Blasphemously Delicious Delight
Imagine what would have happened if it wasn't for any Hindu god.

Every now and then, when pop used to come back home after his long journeys to the west, he used to sit beside me every night and narrate stories of people and places but mostly people. That’s how I got to know about Newton and Einstein and Tesla and Faraday. Being a rather excellent story teller himself, he used to go about those stories with real vigor and I, being who I am, provided him an audience he so desired.

But it’s not the tales of how faraday burnt his house down, or how tesla’s lonely childhood forced him to become the person he was or how Einstein’s clerk days sparked an era where physics become one with “classical” that really intrigued me.  It’s his tales of gods and goddesses of might and magic and strange and extraordinary, twisted almighties that triggered my imagination.

And oh boy, did those imaginations run wild! 

(I don’t mean that wild, you perv!)

Of all those brilliantly scripted tales, one stands out in particular, as I keep finding myself repeating those stories over decent sips of a blasphemously delicious IPA.; the story of dear young Ganesha.

Although the version of story I am going to narrate is how I remember the story to be and how I want the story to be told, it isn’t far off from the truth; a truth that might likely have been conceived from the minds of greats anyways. Just seat back and read on.

Ganesha, if you didn’t already know, is the elephant headed god that you see Hindus, like your faithful blogger, go crazy about. I absolutely! I love him. If I was gay, I would have even proposed marrying him but sadly, I am very clear about my sexuality. Maybe in my next reincarnation, that is, if you believe all those bullshit.

If you have ever come across a Hindu, he/she will have mentioned that we have three gods clinch the top spots:

Introducing you….

Brahma, the engineer dude who created the world and created skies and oceans and thermohaline circulation and cryosphere giving engineers and environmentalists down on earth, a real run for their money.

Bishnu, the protector, the wise playboy (Krishna), the prince (Rama) and all of those thousands and thousands of human reincarnations he has undertaken.

And finally..

Shiva, the destroyer, the angry guy who smokes joints and dances in fashion that is half modern and ultra folk. Beat that B-boyers! Is married to Goddess Parvati.

So what has all of this to do with Ganesha?

Well, the tales have that Ganesha is Shiva’s son and that he was born out of the dirt of that came out of Parvati’s body. It’s pretty fantastic story to confuse kids of how kids are born.

So this one day, Parvati wanted to take a bath and asked her son, the faithful, loyal Ganesha, to stand guard and not allow anyone to get in while she’s cleaning up. Being the son he was, it is said that he didn’t even let the air in, just nearly suffocating his mom inside the “bathroom.”

Shiva on the other hand was looking for parvati and when he realized that she was taking a shower, he wanted in as well. Only to find his own son denying him entrance.

“I need to go inside”

“mom said no”

“kiddo, listen. You don’t understand these stuff, I need to go inside”

“not happening”

This really got into Shiva’s nerves, quite understandably.  But what he did next created shockwaves that altered his son’s life forever. He chopped Ganesha’s head off!

Parvati immediately sensed her son was in grave trouble and as she came out of the bathroom, she saw her son lying dead on the floor. Dead.

Naturally, she was more than just pissed.

“Shiva, I don’t give a shite. Just bring me my son back. I don’t care how.”

“but my dear…”

“you listened to me shiva, no buts.”

Shiva was in trouble. After isolating himself in the mountains he decided to take advice of Brahma. After all, he was the creator.

“WHATTTT? That’s sick dude,” cried out Brahma, “ why would you even do that?”

“Yeah was stupid. Impulsive, you know how it is”

“I know, I know. Let me think”

So Brahma thought.

“Listen, my divine thought has produced an extraordinary idea that will, most definitely, bring your son back.”

“what is it?

“send your army to earth. Find the first animal before sunset, chop the head off and place it back on your son. My calculations show that he will be back given that the sun hasn’t set.”

So Shiva did.

His army kept searching and searching and searching and just when all hope was lost, they found a baby elephant.

The rest well, you can make that out by yourself. Jai Ganesh!