On Death

Fallen Nepalese Nationals
Photo Credits[HERE]
The recent suicide bombing that happened in Kabul took lives of 12 Nepalese nationals who were contracted to protect the Canadian Embassy. As much as I isolate myself from fellow country men, as much as I turn a deaf ear to what happens in and out of Nepal, I still feel, deep inside, a strong un-tethered connection to Nepal and it's citizens. 

I have absolutely no right to sit comfortably on my laboratory chair and babble about how sorry I feel about what happened. I have no right. Only a moment ago, I was making plans to go out, get myself a nice little glass of hand crafted, totally overpriced beer and here I am, feeling sorry. Shame on me. 

I don't know what to say. I am deeply deeply bothered and the only way I can express myself is to write. I write when I am bothered, it's a way for me to channel my inner anger, anger at things that's beyond my control. That's the only way I can remain sane.

As I stare at the pictures of families in grief and try to imagine the pain they are going through at the moment, it's a little too overwhelming. I am sorry. I am sorry that the world has come to this point, that the current, educated generation of youths of Nepal can only just stare at their monitor screens and well, feel helpless. Maybe a little hopeless about the future, a future that we want to share with the rest of the world. 

I don't know what else to say but to have this blind faith that things will get better. That nepalese will not have to go outside begging for work while placing themselves in midst of conflicts that is not theirs. Build stadiums that is not theirs. Wipe people's butts that is not theirs. 

All I can say at this point is,
F**k you god or whoever. Enjoy that little party you are having up there. 


  1. As I read your post I can relate to the feeling of helplessness. There is so much hatred and anger in the world, Orlando is a primary example (even though I believe we are given too much attention because things like this happen year round and no one pays attention until it is connected to a shiny city or people). Anyways, I may be all over the place but I initially wanted to say that God is not having a party on the graves of the dead. God is all good all the time and I don't think it is fair to blame him/her for humanities hatred. We are at fault here. We are the ones choosing to purchase man made weapons and then making the decision to shoot and injure our kind, our brothers and sisters. We are all responsible and I believe that once we accept that fact, that is when the world will start changing. As you said, you have hope and so do I.

    1. you are right, the buck stops with us.
      Things will, hopefully.


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